he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
