I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
