just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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