but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
