what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
