I need help removing her.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
