Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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