i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
