On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize