I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
worst night to have a conscience
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
