Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
