I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it because I queefed?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
