his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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