Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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