Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
