your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
