i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
