I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
