oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
