The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
