out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm always down for nudity.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
