I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
