im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
