he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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