I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
