It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
