Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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