so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
