ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
