Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
