I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
