I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
