im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
