u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
