He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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