Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
