Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This is the high leading the old right now
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
