chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
