When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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