foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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