Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
