Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
