Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
