new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
