TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
