I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
