It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
