I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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