dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
