Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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