I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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